Hunters Blog

We lost your little brother though I'm finding him again
Shooting bow and arrows in the happy hunting ground,
Courage protector even for the darkest angels.
He smiles and says "Mom," don't be sorry.  I learned a lot,
And tell my brother, I can tower over all of you
With hugs and lasting care.  I finally learned that
Love is.  Listen to the birds passing over you
My heart rhythms still remain.

                       For Matthew Shawn Lawson
 
                       In memoriam Gregory Michael Walker

Tony and Christi running down the beach
Following their beautiful little big brown eyed dog
Enjoying their special family, looking out at blue green
Ocean, seeing endless adventures of emerging life, glowing growth,
Stopping to view golden sunset, Nikki frolicking on Tony's lap,
All secure in the orange impending moon and boundless silver stars.

He's playing the violin while Nikki  and Christi look in joyous wonder
Why can't we live precious moments more like this?
Collect sea shells, make any kind of music, and run through redwoods,
Combine new families in courage and enduring love?

                                                                 for Tony Cehetti

It was a lovely afternoon over two thousand years ago in the area now called Big

Sur, California. A beautiful grey haired woman led her two grandchildren in

weaving baskets by the clear flowing water. The girl laughed as her grandmother

joked with them; the younger brother waved to his father fishing across the river.

Her son, their father, walked over the river on a bridge made of logs; he laughed as

he accidently slipped into the water in shallow ater missing the last log. He still

carried his fish and pole as he waved them triumpantly. After he shook the water

off of him, they all watched the orange-yellow sunset. They felt happy and peaceful

as they home through the tall redwoods.It was a sunny day at the beach in

Monterey, California in 1850. A teen-aged boy chased his nine year old brother

down the shallow part of the water. Suddenly the younger boy stopped and ran into

the ocean until the waves went over his head. The teen-ager ran into the water after

him. "Tommy, stop! Come back!" John Pitkin Jr. screamed. John reached his

brother as the younger boy's head bobbed up and then back down into the water.

John grabbed his brother and forced his head above water and rushed him to

shore. He put Tommy on his stomach and applied pressure to his upper back.

Tommy coughed up water and regained consciousness. "Thank God! Why did you

do that, Tommy!" Tommy coughed again and John helped him sit up. Tommy

grasped on to John's hand. "Dad hurt me before you came home. I just wanted to

die!" "He'll never touch you again. I promise. I'll tell him that I'll take you away."

"Really," Tommy said in disbelief. "Come on. I'll take you home." John helped his

brother up and put his arm around him as they walked away.

Heart beat of waves crowned by luminous clouds.

Pink indicates the rise of dawn. You are there with others.

Your spirit looms on your momentous magical path, first softly,

Rainbow lights surround your initial journey--freed from time.

Your spirit rises above those who see you, you reach

Out to them and will guide them, yet ebb and flow is yours.

Magnificent; there is no height or depth too difficult for you have found

Shooting stars--bright glowing worlds of deepest joy.

                                   in memoriam of my dearest friend Ralyn Moore

This rage doth keep me holy

I should grow

Like rare rose glowing

In dark snow.

I will die yet I will surely know

Red love and passion

Flowing from my soul.

Birds  keep shooting across my path in early dawn

Flying in flocks like falling stars, then fluttering, gliding

Scavenging, soon soaring, coming unexpectedly,

Singing, spinning wings, emerging from dark skies,

Finally blinding so I don't miss them.

Morning quickly passes.

I looked into my dog's brown eyes, noticed her tall beautiful, graceful dark white body and I felt complete joy. Although she is ten years old, I have never looked at her so clearly before.

Perhaps this perception comes from uncluttering my psyche so that I alone can vision her without expectations and she feels this.

I truly believe that if we could envision other mammals more like this that we could begin our journies away from inward and outward war.

Can I continue this within myself first?

     Anny and her brother Obe are finally sitting quietly.  Anny did everything to get my attention.  She usually begins the process by eating paper.  Then she jumps up and down motioning with her paw for a treat.  She is a picky eater so I give her a treat.  She is a complete carnivore while I'm a vegetarian.  I sit on the bed with Anny beside me feeling her soft kinky fur with my left arm.  Her brother, a large queenland, doberman, wolf mix is much more behaved than his drama queen sister, but it was only after trauma that he became a civilized mammal.  I will tell his story later.

     Anny greets friends with a high bark and a wagging tale; they don't understand that she is happy to see them.  Yet I have watched her brown eyes glow when she sees them. 

     I wish that I could live in the presents like Anny does with such joy and clarity.  I have already experienced the death of my lover, mother, father, sister, and two of my dearest young friends.  I have bad dreams about these losses and I am working to stop these nightmares using my poodle as an example.  She rarely experiences bad dreams and I feel wholeheartedly that she knows acceptance.